Recently I went to see Wicked – Part One, the captivating new film based on the stage musical of the same name that traces the history of Oz many years before Dorothy and Toto arrived on the scene and decided to visit the Wizard.
The two main characters, Glinda and Elphaba, are polar opposites.
Glinda is pretty and popular, and glides effortlessly through life, while Elphaba struggles to be given a fair go and is constantly dismissed and misunderstood.
On the surface, it seems clear why Elphaba struggles to fit in – her skin colour is a very particular shade of green!
She feels that she must continually explain herself to people: “No, I am not seasick. Yes, I’ve been green ever since I was born, and I didn’t eat grass when I was little. This is just who I am.”
Despite her talents and dreams, her peers exclude and belittle her – just because she is different.
Elphaba’s physical difference is visible to everyone. But she also has unexpected and uncontrollable outbursts that wreak havoc in the schoolyard and cause damage to property.
For individuals living with FASD, what makes them different isn’t visible – it is hidden.
If you are neurodivergent, your face isn’t green, like Elphaba’s, and you’re not in a wheelchair, like Elphaba’s sister, Nessarose. You look pretty much like everyone else.
But your brain does not work in the same way as most other people’s.
People take you as they see you – until unexpected behaviours happen.
A child with FASD may become dysregulated in the middle of a busy supermarket, and other shoppers may incorrectly judge their behaviour as ‘naughtiness’.
A teen with FASD may be utterly exhausted after a long day at school full of expectations that they have struggled to meet, and suddenly lash out at a person or object nearby.
Their brains are operating differently, but they do not appear outwardly different from any other child, or any other student.
Often, a child or young person with FASD who has become dysregulated in public is with a carer or an informed companion who can advocate and intervene on their behalf.
A passer-by may assume that the child is deliberately misbehaving, but a parent might be able to hand them NOFASD’s Community Advice card that explains that their child has a brain disorder and is not being deliberatively disruptive. Click here to learn more about these cards
A teen with FASD, or a peer/support worker with them, may have on hand the NOFASD Police Information cards, to help diffuse an encounter with the police. Judgements are made, and outcomes happen, that are neither fair nor appropriate – simply because FASD is a hidden disability. Click here to learn more about NOFASD’s Police Information cards
So how can we, as FASD-informed community members, assist and support individuals with FASD when dysregulated incidents happen in public?
We cannot know whether a dysregulated child or young person has FASD or not, but we should treat any encounter with the knowledge that a hidden, brain-based disability may be behind the behaviour. Don’t judge. Be kind. Offer help – perhaps to find a quiet, safe space, carry shopping bags to the carpark, or make a phone call. And listen.
Talk to family and friends about the prevalence and the under-diagnosis or mis-diagnosis of FASD and plant the seeds of awareness and understanding that foster kindness and suspension of judgement.
There can never be too much kindness in the world.
Elphaba describes feeling limited by her difference.
Sadly, this is a feeling shared by many living with FASD.
It’s up to all of us to spread awareness of this hidden disability, to realise how difficult everyday life is for those living with FASD, and to be always ready to be kind and do whatever we can to make life a little smoother.
Elphaba does find her own path – definitely a path less travelled!
She calls it Defying Gravity.
Because, after all, everyone deserves the chance to fly.
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If reading this blog has prompted a desire for you to learn more about FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) or to encourage others to learn more about this brain-based disability, a perfect place to start is NOFASD’s webpage which features a range of resources
If you are seeking advice about diagnosis and assessments to see if you, or a family member, may have FASD, please contact NOFASD’s Helpline on 1800 860 613.